Three Tips for Setting Boundaries for Teens
For some parent’s it can be difficult to know how to set boundaries for teens. You hope to give your teen everything they need or want, but in reality that just can’t happen. Sometimes teens can be difficult, and it may seem easier to give in and give them what they want. When teens are going through puberty or a difficult time, they can be defiant or argumentative. Learning how to set boundaries for teens is a key component to teaching them how to build healthy and stable relationships in their lives. An article by Psychology Today suggests three basic steps to setting healthy boundaries for teens.
- Practice tuning in to your inner sense of “yes” and “no”. The most important part of learning how to set boundaries for teens is understanding your own personal boundaries. Using the common voice of reason that tells us when we feel like something is right or wrong is a good way to determine how you feel about your own limits or guidelines. Pay attention to how you feel in the moment. Your voice of reason can be used to help you determine whether to say “yes” or “no” to your teen.
- Learn how to tolerate the reactions of others. Setting boundaries for your teen can unleash unpleasant emotions. Your teen is probably not going to always like the response they get. Even if they have an unpleasant response, you can still remain firm on the boundaries you’ve set for your teen. In the long run, setting healthy boundaries for teens actually improves relationships. By respecting your own personal boundaries, you teach your teen to do the same for you, themselves, and other people.
- Engage in acts of compassionate self-care. Taking time to take care of yourself is an important part of maintain healthy relationships. If you want to be giving and compassionate to your teen, it’s important to apply the same compassion towards yourself. Setting aside time to relax or do something for you can promote relaxation, energy, and the ability to connect with yourself. This ultimately gives you the foundation to respond to hostile situations in a calm and healthy way and to be in tune with what you’re comfortable with as a parent.
When parents say “yes” to their teens about things they don’t want to, it can cause stress. Setting boundaries for teens can be difficult. It’s important to remember the benefits your teen will gain by the boundaries you set. Setting boundaries for teens helps build healthy relationships and a set of well-being.
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